Mailbox day

If my mailbox can see its shadow then we'll have six more weeks of junk mail.

Gluttony

The crane is a symbol of gluttony since the long neck represents the extended pleasure of swallowing. I think that certain foods inspire gluttony ... such as pulled-pork barbecue sandwiches.

The taste is really good and satisfying to my primal needs. Burping is no discomfort; in fact, it is great to regurgitate in my mouth to enjoy the flavor longer before swallowing again. If I ever find a piece of gristle — which is rare from our local barbecue experts — I can save it in a plastic container in the refrigerator so that I can take it out from time to time to chew and gnaw on it. It would be great to have a ton of barbecue and Brunswick stew to fill a bathtub so I could lie in it and lazily chew and lick while it fills my mouth in my sleep. If I were to meet a pig I would probably slap a sandwich bun on each side of it and just put my mouth on it as long as I could.

The owner of the restaurant warned, “You're going to turn into a barbecue sandwich.”