Cracker Jack

Cracker Jack prizes have apparently gotten more lame than ever. I just bought a bag that contained a paper pencil decoration with a cartoon picture of insects. That is so much more lame than something like a sticker or a miniature baseball card. Just a piece of paper with two slits for a pencil to slide through. I'm glad I didn't buy the stuff for the prize. I was just eating it until I found a piece of paper in the bag and remembered the whole prize gimmick. I wonder if you can still buy Cracker Jack in boxes.

What I really like are the names of other caramel-covered popcorn snacks: Crunch 'n' Munch, Fiddle Faddle, and Poppycock. It takes creative genius to name a snack. When you eat something with a name like Fiddle Faddle, it feels like you are being funny and mischievous.

Work is fun

Just a minute ago I heard a lawn mower start up and then ... maniacal laughter. That is disconcerting. What kind of glee is someone suddenly feeling as the result of a deadly rotating blade? Frightening.

A couple years ago some workers were hammering in a garage and playing loud, heavy rock music. They kept hooting and hollering like they may have actually been at the rock concert.

Work must be fun. There is new meaning to "whistle while you work" on my street.

Things I saw that looked like something else in my mind

• Gravel: Seen at night and lit by red stop lights from a nearby car, it looked like dog food.
• Deer carcass: On the roadside it looked like a giant opossum. It was much less surprising when someone told me what it was after I exclaimed about its size.
• Billboard: As I was about to fall asleep on a night drive, it looked like a candy bar, and that scared me into alertness.
• Third year of law school: Back in the first year it looked like it would be a lot of fun, but it wasn't.
  

Windy

I used to wonder what it might be like to live on the Falkland Islands. Now I know a little more about the windy part anyway. Isn't Georgia windier than usual this year? I mean, gee whiz! I think the pollen that collected on the outdoor furniture has been blown away. I'm glad there isn't much sand around here because the furniture would be sandblasted, too. If there were sand outside, maybe it would get blown around and clean the driveway because this year it's illegal to pressure wash it. You can't see wind, but you can see the effects of it, and I've been seeing a whole lot of effects all this spring.

Ceremonial weapons

The law school graduation involved a display of weaponry: The sheriff wielding a sword and the law school marshal carrying a mace. I was reminded by a retired law professor who is a second degree black belt in tae kwon do that his feet and hands could be added to the list.

Sink philosophy

Two different philosophies clash in the bathroom. The philosophy of water conservation says, make a faucet that only runs as it is pressed upon, meaning that you can only rinse one hand at a time. The Americans with Disabilities Act philosophy says, make a sink with a normal faucet except with long handles to control the hot and cold water. The result is a counter with two sinks that have very different faucets. Guess who wins? The sink with the faucet that can be left on so you can rub your hands together under running water. In one particular bathroom it seems that no one uses the funny water-saving sink. Disabilities sink wins -- flawless victory.

Last names that are body parts or could be

• Head
• Legg
• Hand
• Foote
• Hipps
• Hart
• Finger
• Palm
  
• Butt
• Pitt