I hate sunlight

I hate sunlight. It hurts my eyes and gives me headaches. I have thought I should move to the Seattle area in order to enjoy their climate which has fewer sunny days. I found this map of the U.S. which shows "sky cover," and apparently Erie and Buffalo are also pretty cloudy. So I should figure out whether it would be easiest to get a license in my profession in Washington, Pennsylvania, or New York, then we can move.

25 Things

The Facebook fad is to post a list of 25 things about yourself. Here are 25 things you may not have known about me.

1. I have accidentally tasted dog droppings.
2. I eat pears (on purpose).
3. I was the first person to go stir-crazy on the moon.
4. I am an expert in men's fashion.
5. There is a portal to another universe on my face.
6. I like to listen to Gregorian chants.
7. I eat chicken liver and beef liver (on purpose).
8. I love chocolate more than I love my wife.
9. I can whistle and hum at the same time.
10. I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
11. I am a card-carrying member of the NRA.
12. I am a card-carrying member of the public library.
13. I have a separate wallet for all my freaking cards. I call it my "satellite wallet."
14. I overslept and missed a class trip to Ottawa.
15. I used to keep gerbils as pets.
16. (Reserved.)
17. I like to learn about land use regulations.
18. When I was a kid I drew a picture of what I would have seen if I were flying upside down over the Mississippi River while eating a banana on which a fly wearing sunglasses had landed.
19. (Repealed.)
20. My first memory was when I was about 10 months old. I got spanked for spitefully pulling on my mom's hair.
21. I used to drink a lot of Dr Pepper.
22. I used to drink black coffee, but now I pollute it with milk and artificial sweetener.
23. I have a Glock and drive an Impala, but I am not a gangsta.
24. I have two front yards.
25. I am a debt relief agency.
    

Evil plotting

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you -- this page is thought provoking. It says, for instance, that if your cat is digging in the litter excessively it is probably practicing burying bodies. If it kneads its paws on you, it is actually checking your organs for signs of weakness. Anyway, I'd like to add another sign. Today one of my cats was rubbing her head against me and purring. Then she pressed her head hard against my hand, but that hand was holding a coffee mug. I spilled coffee on my legs. She was trying to burn me to death, but what a feeble attempt.

Wheat bread dilemma

The ingredients list on Sara Lee wheat bread says it's made of stone ground wheat flour, and that's good, but it also contains high fructose corn syrup, which is bad. Arnold brand wheat bread boasts that it does not contain high fructose corn syrup, but the ingredients don't specify that it's made of stone ground wheat flour. Which bread is better?